Types of Apologies

Types of Apologies
Whether you deeply hurt someone emotionally, accidentally shut the door on someone following close, tripped someone during a friendly game of soccer, or you are attempting to comfort a good friend who recently lost a family member, the words, “I’m sorry” should pop up at one point in these situations. Apologies resemble closely the anatomy of clay or play-dough, the worth and meaning of the apology matters depending on the person, the situation and the presentation it is submitted. Saying sorry expresses a genuine or superficial regret for an action or statement and also helps build bridges for understanding. Although there are many motives behind an apology, the unique phrase, “I’m sorry,” always has a diverse amount of sincerity lurking in the background of those two words; typically, apologies are either because they have to or feel that they must, sarcastic, or purely genuine.

Because I Have To
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” - Kimberly Johnson.
“Mommy!” A little girl shrieked as she ran into the bright kitchen, earnestly seeking out her mother. “What’s wrong dear?” said the mother sympathetically to her sobbing daughter. Without taking a breath to speak in between tears she screamed with a fierce anger, “Billy hit me in the head with his toy!” As the obviously traumatized girl pleaded her urgent case, her guilty brother poked his head into the kitchen, knowing his mother was about to call him to the stand. After much interrogating, which got tiresome with the accuser constantly interrupting the judge, Billy’s mother commanded him severely to, “say sorry to your sister.” “But I’m not sorry!” Billy quickly retorted. In the end, he relented however to avoid punishment but added indignantly that he said it because he had to. Aren’t we much like Billy? Maturity just veils these same situations to give the appearance that we are not being just plain silly. We get in fights with our best friends or our other and we let these petty arguments push us away from one another all because one side cannot consent and attempt to understand the other side’s opinion. Understanding in an argument begins with an apology and it can prevent arguments that spread like forest fires, burning hotter and hotter till the whole forest is torched to ashes and incinerate our feelings and friendships. Because we have to apologies right away can sometimes make people even angrier at us than if we took time to contemplate the extremity of our actions, or let them realize the ridiculousness of their over-reactions. We should always strive to be sincere in our apologies, but never compromise our hard-line, true beliefs because someone says to do so.

Sarcastic Apology
“A stiff apology is a second insult. The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.” - G.K. Chesterton.
This apology is easily the most aggravating and irritatingly rude apology of all. We’ve all met that one person who just blabs on and disregards the situation and people surrounding them; when confronted they, half heartedly and nearly sarcastically tells us, “I didn’t mean to offend you, sorry,” with a deep sigh and dismissing tone as if we were at fault. Usually they just have a misunderstanding or misbelieve about your opinions, thus become rude to avoid the appearance of their stupidity. Most of this kind of apology is left to commonsense in the fact that, it obviously is meant to both degrade and dismiss, or to demonstrate a lack of care or concern for the person or issue.

Genuine Apology
“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” - Lynn Johnston
Apologies have their most impact on people here at this level and demonstrate a true attempt to understand the other person whom they have offended. After a long fight, it is refreshing to exchange apologies and try to rebuild the bridges you may have started to collapse or burn. Saying sorry brings you one step closer to unity and provides you with a deeper knowledge into the other’s beliefs because a true apology is just a prelude to a calm conversation expressing why you were hurt or why they were hurt by what was said or done. Easily summarized, if you are going to say sorry, make sure you mean it or else you can just cause more fights. In the end, understanding, love, and unity should be the result of the little, but very important words, “I’m sorry.”