Marriage Roles and Destruction of the Family Through Divorce

Divorce statistics in the United States

• Almost 49 percent of the marriages end up in divorces
• First marriages end up in divorces in an average duration of just less than 8 years
• 60 percent of all divorces are related to individuals aged 25 to 39
• There were more than 21 million divorces in the year 2000. In the same year, 58 million couples were married and still lived separated
• The average male age for a second divorce was 40.4 years and the average female age was 37.3 years in 1990
• The divorce rate of first time marriages is almost 10 percent lesser than the divorce rate for second marriages
• Over a 40 year period, 67 percent of first marriages terminate in a divorce and 50 percent of these divorces take place within the first 7 years
• Every year more than 1 million children are affected by divorce

Divorce statistics regarding the risk of divorce

• In case of individuals who have attended college, the risk of divorce is less by 13 percent
• If a person has strong religious beliefs, the risk of divorce is 14 percent less
• When the parents are happily married, the risk of divorce of their children decreases by 14 percent
• Those who marry for the first time after they attain the age of 25, in their case the risk of divorce is less by 24 percent
• If the yearly income is more than 0.5 million USD, the risk of divorce decreases by 30 percent

Effects of divorce on children

• The possibility that teenaged girls from single parent homes would give birth to an out-of-wedlock child or would drop out of high school is two times as compared to girls living with both parents
• The children who are brought up in single parent homes display a lesser possibility to marry and more possibility to divorce
• 50 percent of the children in the country are a witness to the breakup of their parent’s marriage. Almost half of these 50 percent are a witness to the second divorce of a parent

• From 1970 to 1996, the number of children residing with both parents plummeted from 85 to 68 percent

 
 

  Yet again, we decided to watch a video from Jeff to boost discussion. Watch his new video here!

 

“Lead her with grace instead of trying to control her” – what is the role of a man within marriage?

Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Now we read the male's side first because often times people tend to shut down from verses 22-24. Really catch what this is saying - husbands, lay down your lives. He must give everything up for his wife, like Christ giving everything for us.

Extra reading: 1 Corinthians 11:3

What is a woman’s role within marriage?

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I chose to read them in opposite order because it gives a new perspective when doing so. Also, feel free to put it in context and read the entire chapter.


Extra reading: 1 Timothy 2:9-15

Personal thoughts: This is a difficult portion of the Bible, and one that most Christian women would love to throw away. (Forgive me if I start to rhyme... I watched too much poetry) “He thinks he is the ruler and lord of me? We could easily toss that out or just leave it be.” But there is more weight to the male’s side that most care to see, like that fact that we are to love and cherish the women more than even ourselves. Like Christ loved us individually, He gave up His life, and tell me ladies… a man who steps in front of a bullet to save your life, isn’t he worth respecting? But it seems like today, women are expecting this to be the normal behavior and that they should ignore the fact that this man could be their savior. There cannot be two leaders of one house, just like there cannot be two kings to a kingdom. Who has the final say? It ends in conflict and divided factions. So in the USA today, it is the job of men to stop treating that word “submissive” as if it’s permission to rule, and dismiss her. I make a joke saying, “If you want a sandwich, earn it.” But let’s be serious for a second, if he treats you right, doesn’t he deserve it?

“Become friends first before you ever become lovers.” – Why is there merit to this statement? What do you benefit from it?

Personal thoughts: Most cohabitation before marriage end in divorce. Why is that so? See if you can answer it after I am finished. I’ve heard a man say that he has fallen in love with his wife many times in 6 years of marriage. Seems like an odd statement since you’re always supposed to love your wife! But notice that he said fall in love. That means the deep emotional attachment – the ewwy gooey disgusting love that fades. Jeff says in his poem that death do us part means till the feelings go away… how true is that? But as Ken has said in the past, love is a choice that results in a feeling. I know that’s true for a fact because I sometimes really don’t like Amanda. She can easily infuriate me; however, I always choose to love her. Without that strong feeling of conviction, I would have been done and over already because a relationship can be a struggle – especially long distance ones. Now why does cohabitation mostly end in divorce? It all comes down to commitment. The test drive mentality is that they can try it out and leave if they dislike it. But human nature is interesting and that mentality continues even if they do like it.

How important is it that a relationship is built on Jesus? Why? 

Personal thoughts:  I have only one story for this, when I was struggling with relationship issues a few years back, I called a consular from camp. One thing he said has stuck with me for the longest time. Let’s think of people as batteries. We run on energy that we constantly burn off. When we’re in a relationship, we loan our energy to them. Fighting through every problem, a boy and girl go hand in hand… but when they are pulling from each other, eventually the power will die. But then you have God, an infinite source of energy that we can pull from. If one person runs out of energy, they draw upon the other. When 1 is plugged into God, they can grant it to the other. But when the 1 is out of energy and not with God, they have nothing to give and just pull more. This is why it is important both of you put God first then your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. By following Matthew 10:37, we become a better person to any person we know: friend, son, daughter, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, boss, or employee.

Updates may come as I remember the class, but they will be written on a new post!

My Thoughts: Why I Hate Religion. But Love Jesus (Pt1)

First off I find it very important to define religion - something he did not do.

re·li·gion/riˈlijən/

Noun:

The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.

Now that we have out definition, we can continue to analyze this very poetic, viral video.

Starting with the very first line, it is apparent that he has a different definition of religion. "What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion?" I personally would respectfully say you are wrong, Mr. Bethke; however, I do not write this video off right away as flawed and incorrect. By searching deeper, you see, as I stated before, Jeff Bethke is redefining religion almost. 


   I believe a definition he would more appropriately use would be, "strict following of a Biblical code, rules, creed, or traditions to the excess that the tradition becomes more important and more focused on 'do and do not,' than on the meaning behind the do and do not." Try fitting that into the Webster dictionary... I don't think it will work. 


   But I digress, with a new application of a different definition, we can easily pick the meat of the message from the bone. His following phrase about being Republican is entirely true. I myself am Republican, but I am that way because it supports the values of Christ (for the most part) as I read in the Bible. If another party that followed the Bible closer appeared, I would support them. Thus, I agree with his statement entirely.


   With a great sigh at his next statement, I must repeat, "corrupt men start wars under the banner of religion." The statement to follow leads me to think he has a distinct picture in his mind of Roman Catholic Cathedrals that, in the medieval times, did not properly follow God and His word. So, just as stated before, men under the guise of religion pursued power and wealth - religion itself did not. In other-words, he is right AND wrong with his statement. 


  I would love to find the scripture verse calling religious people whores... and if the Bible was talking about the Jewish religion being whores. Show me a Christian that tells single mothers God doesn't love them if they got a divorce and I will expose them as not a truly following Christ correctly. Besides, an individual or congregation tells them that, not the religion. 


  
   The line is drastically being blurred now, are we talking Christianity anymore or Judaism? I think that Bethke has points, but his generalization astounds me. 5 minutes cannot fit in his beliefs, I understand, but don't preach generalization or you are instantly going against the message you are teaching. It's about a 1 on 1 relationship, but Christianity is also about the church and helping one another. By throwing a blanket on "religion" (which we are all a part of whether he likes it or not), he is actively distorting blame from individuals who behave straight up wrong to every Christ-follower... or at least every one he deems religious. 


   I love his following point. It's like spraying perfume on a casket. Being someone who has been used (many times) by others to improve their image due to my Christian life, I understand with an even greater depth how this applies. We cannot mask our troubles, claim perfection, and attempt to remove the speck from our brother's eye while ignoring the plank of sin protruding from our own eye. Perfume on a casket, smells nice, but it's dead.


   Here is where I derived my definition of what he is addressing as "religion." Behavior modification like a long list of chores - this type of Christianity is what he is attacking, not religion. Should he remake the video and use proper terminology, I would hope behind him 100%; however his poor choice in words makes me question his beliefs, even if I understand his meaning. Everything he follows with is so true. Don't act like a Christian - BE ONE! That is his point. Religion in the video = fake Christian who only follows rules.


   If grace is water, then the church should be an ocean. It's not a museum for good people, its a hospital for the broken.  This is true... what churches are you going to? I am pretty sure it's the wrong ones if they preach otherwise. I really like his follow up statement that basically emphasized seeking God with your heart not your action. Although we know from James, faith without deeds is dead. That is why Jesus hated the people who followed with strict habitual action, forgetting God's love, meaning, and heart; Jesus didn't hate religion. 






   Whew analyzing this video is hard line by line, but it is so very necessary to understand the meaning. However, due to other obligations, I must pick up a part 2 later, We end on, "but if He came to your church, would they actually let Him in?"  I promise I will summarize this very loaded a contorted, yet extremely important video after I finish part 2! Thanks for reading. God bless.

Blessed by A Broken Heart is a definite throwback to the hair bands of the UK, but they are a Christian rock band. I think this song is a modern twist of Triumph. Rock on Christian rock!

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus?

We watched this video in class and I ask everyone to watch this critically. Why does he believe what he believes? What could his background be? And finally, is he right? Why? Why not?

However, my only interjection is that he is wrong about one specific point - religion doesn't start wars, corrupt men do.





His follow up personal statement about the video.

 “If you are using my video to bash ‘the church’ be careful. I was in no way intending to do that. The Church is Jesus' bride so be careful how you speak of His wife,” he stated. “If a normal dude has right to get pissed when you bash His wife, it makes me tremble to think how great the weight is when we do it to Jesus' wife. The church is His vehicle to reach a lost word. A hospital for sinners. Saying you love Jesus but hate the Church, is like a fiancé saying he loves his future bride, but hates her kids. We are all under grace. Look to Him.”

Games From Class

Playin some Life!

Dont Work, Dont Eat

Socialism. It's a big word today isn't it? Our government and the world seems to be leaning more toward the side of big government control. But before my political ideals jump ahead of me, I will state the true problem. Last lesson was on responsibility, something Americans lack. We turn to others to place blame and expect them to take care of us. I said that this is an age of enabling, things are just handed to us. When everyone receives the same reward for their work (or lack thereof), what incentive is there for innovation and progress? In the end, no one works because they receive without earning.

Recalling the parable of the Virgins and their oil, the virgins who came prepared were not stingy for keeping their oil because they are responsible for their own actions. Don't get me wrong, Isaiah 41:17, Psalm 10:14, and Luke 6:20-21, Matthew 25:35 are great examples of how we are to watch after the poor. But we are not to enable them and be used.

However, back to the topic - don't work, don't eat. 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14 bears the words of the title. This is a principle factor of the Christian nature- personal responsibility for your own actions and well being. Do what you can to do good for yourself, don't expect a hand out.

Acts 20:35

2 Corinthians 8:8-15

Ephesians 4:28

Lessons from Matthew

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:25-34 ESV)